Slow and Steady

Well, the results are in.  It is so funny how one day with infertility there is a positive spin on things and the next day it could very well be negative.  Monday I wasn't feeling so great, as it looked as though my little follicles decided to be stubborn in the face of Clomid again.  Not much growth and no dominant follicles coming forward--just some chocolate chip cookie looking ovaries.  I was discouraged, cried again, but picked myself back up and returned today.  It seems I have four follicles coming forward, largest is at 12 right now (CD11).  My E2 level will be in tomorrow and hopefully be up from the 491 it was on Monday.

Auntie Dumplings, my fertility nurse, has been clear all along that this isn't ideal, as we'd like to "quiet the ovaries for a few months".  From what I can understand, it seems this would help with the PCOS and ensure there weren't too many follicles coming forward at once.  Still, we just couldn't let this perfect window of time go to waste.

And then came the confusing part.  While I love Auntie Dumplings, I believe that we both have the same  characteristic of talking in circles around what we are really trying to say.  Unfortunately, this leaves me with so many questions after I leave.  I never realize it in the moment, because we discussed the issue at hand.  But then, when I'm driving away in my car, I always seem to think, "hmmm...now what did she really mean by that?"  During the appointment, she said that if it looked like four eggs were going to be released, they wouldn't recommend the trigger shot.  But immediately following that, she asked if we had discussed selective reduction.  I'm sure I looked at her completely blank...I have no idea.  What is that?  I definitely haven't gotten that far.  She said if too many eggs were fertilized, they would refer me to an RE for them to take some out for a healthy pregnancy.  Wow!  Another huge decision to make!  And, more importantly at this stage, is she saying that they wouldn't recommend a trigger shot, but I could still take it and plan on selective reduction if any eggs were fertilized?  Or would I not take it, but still be at risk for four eggs becoming fertilized?  So confused!

At any rate, I am not going to stress about this today.  It is a gorgeous day outside and after scouring the flower markets for sales, I am on my way out for a day of fun in the sun.  Planting, painting, and knowing (at least for now) that my follicles are progressing.  All is well!