Welcome to anyone who has stumbled upon this blog. As I am new to the blogging world, I am not sure exactly how people access such blogs. I assume, as so many things on the internet, that it has to do with key words and phrases. So, perhaps, just a moment ago, you were Googling the same key words and phrases I have been for so long: fertility, infertility, how to conceive, conception, ovulation, etc. etc. etc.
Whatever the search that led you here, I extend a welcoming and understanding hand to you.
Here is my open invitation to you to join in my fertility journey, which just as easily (and happily) may become my adoption journey, and, in essence, is our family journey.
At some points, I am hesitant to opening my heart so fully--making such a personal story public. Yet, at the same time, it has recently become painfully apparent that I desperately need an outlet. I have always processed my life through writing, filling countless journals that can still make me smile, laugh, and cry in one sitting. This time, however, I feel my soul is craving more than this cathartic ritual. Indeed, it is craving company, understanding, empathy, advice. There is something lately about a blank page that simply magnifies the solitude that accompanies struggle. And I am not welcoming to solitude these days!
My assumption is that there are countless others just like myself--looking for explanations, company, advice--which is the other reason I'm opening myself. Not only do I need I this, I can imagine others may, too. Just as I have been searching for an outlet, my hope is that others can access this outlet and find some sort of inner peace. Inner peace and fertility struggles seem like oxymorons, but my hope is that they can co-exist at some level.
My intentions are for this to be a place where I can say anything--the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is a chronicle of our dreams for a little bean, (our term for that tiny thing we hope to create with our love, oh and mature eggs, super concentrated, mobile sperm, and impeccable timing, of course : )
While I am sure that there will be updates of fertility appointments and possibly even procedures, this is more so a place for my emotions to flow freely. And, please be forewarned, that I have a lot of emotions! This is a place for honesty. Dedicated to all the truths of trying to conceive, I ask for understanding when I obsess or overreact, rant or fall apart, and especially when I act like just a plain old bitch. I invite everyone to do the same. For I firmly believe that truth is beauty and healing begins only after one is honest with the mind, body, and soul. And, in all honesty, if you are reading this, chances are such drastic highs and lows are truly resonating with you as you navigate your own fertility.
So, here begins the chronicle of our journey to our little bean. For better or worse, here I am. Just me. Stripped.
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